Winnie the Pooh and the lost plot.
The animals were gathered together again by the Meeting Tree in the middle of the Hundred ACS-wood. They were a patient group, and had waited for the results of the new SIRVAY since the last Haycorn Season, but for reasons which were not clear, even to wise old Owl, delay and followed delay. "I'm so excited," squeaked Piglet, "that my tail has uncurled." Tigger agreed that it had. Little Roo jumped up and down, desperate to hear the news. Eeyore grumbled that if nothing happened soon, he would be too senile to benefit from any changes. "At least I've got my long service bonus to look forward to," he muttered, "they can't take that away from me."
Winnie the Pooh introduced a speaker from the Forest Committee, and the animals heard how the meeting would go. First, a long talk, then a short break when they were encouraged to leave, then another talk, and finally, at the very end of the day as darkness fell, a chance to ask a question. A special MAGIC LANTERN show had been set up by Christopher Robin to show the animals the numbers. They gasped as the results were explained, but none understood what was going on. Even Christopher Robein, who had some PRIVAT EDUKASHUN, and knew a little about SUMS, was baffled. Large numbers had become smaller, and they were told this was "A GOOD THING'. Low numbers changed to high ones before their eyes - another "GOOD THING". Other results had just disappeared, and nothing was said about them. "That's why it's called a MAGIC LANTERN", hooted Owl. "It changes numbers around, like magic."
The speaker then told the animals that their opinions were so important they could do another SIRVAY next Haycorn season. The animals gasped in amazement at this. "We value your opinions, and we are listening", continued the speaker. The younger animals clapped and applauded. The Forest Committee really cared about them.
"What a load of BOLLOX", muttered Eeyore, grateful that he had his personal index-linked private medical insurance, guaranteed against inflation.
Finally the speaker stopped. A polite ripple of applause came from the older animals, hoping to leave early, but then another one started to talk. This one mumbled something, but none of them could hear, so a MIKE ROWFONE was used to make the voice louder.
"Hrrmhgyyyy....thergdswill....smorfer..." it said. "Hmmphhh oplot." What strange language was this? Even wise Owl, who knew some LATIN, was confused. "What is he saying?", asked Tigger.
He says 'thank you for coming, as he knows you are busy", said Owl.
"Yes, I am", said Tigger, "Very busy", and he bounced off to assess his work-life balance and smoke some Haycorns.
All this time, Winnie the Pooh was pondering, and a little song began to form in his tiny bear brain: "I know what I know and I don't know a lot, but someone round here has lost the plot...tiddly pom", and he waddled off into the forest.
Winnie the Pooh introduced a speaker from the Forest Committee, and the animals heard how the meeting would go. First, a long talk, then a short break when they were encouraged to leave, then another talk, and finally, at the very end of the day as darkness fell, a chance to ask a question. A special MAGIC LANTERN show had been set up by Christopher Robin to show the animals the numbers. They gasped as the results were explained, but none understood what was going on. Even Christopher Robein, who had some PRIVAT EDUKASHUN, and knew a little about SUMS, was baffled. Large numbers had become smaller, and they were told this was "A GOOD THING'. Low numbers changed to high ones before their eyes - another "GOOD THING". Other results had just disappeared, and nothing was said about them. "That's why it's called a MAGIC LANTERN", hooted Owl. "It changes numbers around, like magic."
The speaker then told the animals that their opinions were so important they could do another SIRVAY next Haycorn season. The animals gasped in amazement at this. "We value your opinions, and we are listening", continued the speaker. The younger animals clapped and applauded. The Forest Committee really cared about them.
"What a load of BOLLOX", muttered Eeyore, grateful that he had his personal index-linked private medical insurance, guaranteed against inflation.
Finally the speaker stopped. A polite ripple of applause came from the older animals, hoping to leave early, but then another one started to talk. This one mumbled something, but none of them could hear, so a MIKE ROWFONE was used to make the voice louder.
"Hrrmhgyyyy....thergdswill....smorfer..." it said. "Hmmphhh oplot." What strange language was this? Even wise Owl, who knew some LATIN, was confused. "What is he saying?", asked Tigger.
He says 'thank you for coming, as he knows you are busy", said Owl.
"Yes, I am", said Tigger, "Very busy", and he bounced off to assess his work-life balance and smoke some Haycorns.
All this time, Winnie the Pooh was pondering, and a little song began to form in his tiny bear brain: "I know what I know and I don't know a lot, but someone round here has lost the plot...tiddly pom", and he waddled off into the forest.
1 comment:
What a shame that the schoool does not recognize the value of the teachers and staff. Thank heavens for humour....great Pooh tale. mj
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