How many times have I said that I am going to start writing in this blog again and how many times have I failed to do so? Don't answer that question, I certainly have no intention of doing so! However, I do intend to start writing here again. I have come to the conclusion that I wrote here in the past because I had a need to do so and stopped because I didn't. My husband of 37 years died 10 days ago and I have rediscovered the need to write again! If what I have gone through so far is anything to go by, I have a lot to explore, examine and puzzle about, and as I have discovered in the past, writing helps me do that.
I suppose I will have to make some changes on this blog first. It is no longer about surviving cancer, though here's hoping I have. I think the focus will have to be on surviving the mourning process and whatever may happen to me next. And even in that last sentence, there is a kernel of what I don't want. I don't want things to happen to me. I want to make sure that the next stage of my life is a series of events orchestrated by me, not by others and not by circumstance alone.
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