Nearing the end

I've returned to the thought that perhaps I am nearing the end of this blog. As you have probably noticed, I am writing less and less frequently. I still have a need to write but it is taking on different formats. I also find that there are things I can't talk about here and so I should probably go back to writing a journal. I had wanted to say something about Naomi's miscarriage but I didn't want to cause her any upset. I also need to explore certain aspects of relationships I have. That would also be difficult to do in this format. So, I think that in the next month or so, you will see the end of me writing on line. Do I have an inflated view of what I have been writing to think that anyone other than a few friends and family members will even notice that the blog has gone?

Now that I think of it, it is somewhat strange writing, not knowing if there is an audience or not. Does it matter? I'm not sure. I just have this strange feeling every once in awhile when I have the thought that I am probably writing only for myself but at the same time, writing as if there is an audience. Yes, I know Mary Jane that you are reading this. Has it become our conversation on-line? I'll have to think about that too. You are the only one who writes comments on a regular basis. So, are we alone? With a few eaves droppers?

I'm of now. We are going out shortly to a steam run fun fair in Englefield Green. It comes at the end of a strange day which started with the discovery that a friend had been hit by foot and mouth on her farm. I sat in the car looking at her locked gate, wondering why, when suddenly my eyes and brain took in the official message on the gate: Foot and Mouth. I got out of the car to look closer at the sign because I couldn't quite believe what it said and was met a a DEFRA employee. "Tell me, it's not true," I said hoping that I was reading it incorrectly. "Sorry," he replied. She's lost 40 dairy cattle, her horse livery is closed, as is her farm shop. It brings a lot into perspective.