Day 5 of my holiday

Sigh! I am in love with my holidays! The weather is perfect, though my lawn is suffering from the lack of rain (Well, you can't have everything!); I am doing precisely what I want and there are weeks ahead of me to keep doing precisely what I want. Sigh again!

With the wonderful weather we are having, I have found it very difficult to spend much time in the house. Nothing wrong with that, I suppose. I did do some projects around the house in the first few days I had off. It was still cool and I was probably suffering from post-work syndrome. I sorted out the kitchen cupboards, my drawers and Cliff's, vacuumed anything that didn't move and then stopped. I probably did more work than I've done for months and now, with luck, I have finished with household chores.

On a less strenuous note, I have started my summer reading. It is the 50th anniversary of the publication of To Kill and Mockingbird and so I have started to re-read it. This afternoon I listened to an interesting programme on Radio 4 in which a number of writers and critics discussed the influence of the novel and its relevance today. I had no idea that it was such a popular book in secondary English courses in the UK. As I started to read it the other day, I remember thinking how challenging it would be for teen readers.

Off to bed now! More to come tomorrow and more reading too!

I'm back!

Dear All, (Well there probably aren't that many of you!) I have decided to reopen my blog to anyone. I found that having it closed it to only certain readers, I was no longer posting. I have no idea why that as but it also meant that I got out of the habit of writing.

I am on holiday for the summer and looking forward to putting certain aspects of the last 6 months behind me. Nothing at work has been resolved. Instead I have learned how to get some of what I need in a back handed manner. This is no way to go on but sometimes you just have to accept the stupidity of a situation and use it to your advantage. So, though I knew that already, in the last 3 months I have taken it on board, rather than railing against fate!

What shall I do with all this time off? I have no definite plans other than a week in Pembrokeshire with Cliff, my mum, and Naomi, Noah and James. The rest of the time I will concentrate on reading, writing, gardening, cooking and baking! Sigh!

I have already started on my first book. Discovering that this year is the 50th anniversary of the publication of To Kill a Mockingbird, I have started to re-read it. This will be my 3rd time, I think. I first read it about 1962, not long after it came out. I was 12 and my English teacher phoned my mother, concerned that I should be reading such a book! It was the rape trial that concerned him, I imagine. My mother sensibly said that if she stopped my, I would only find some other way of getting hold of it. And anyway, I was probably too young to understand what rape was anyway. She was right. The rape went right over my head, but the injustice didn't. I re-read it when I had to teach it at the beginning of my teaching career. I have no memory of the classes, nor the book. I think that the experience was traumatic! Hopefully, this read won't be.

Enough for today or at least this part of today!

Still Home!

This time last week, I really thought that I would be back at school by Friday but it was not to be. I went to the doctor last Thursday, just so that I could say that I had. He signed me off work till Monday, March 8th and here I am, still at home.

I must admit that I was worse off than I realized at first and it has taken me a while to start to feel better. I am sleeping through the night finally, which is a real improvement. I don't think that I have done so since I was ill during the Christmas holidays. How silly of me to let this go on for so long!

I have found myself being quite anxious as well. I've tried a number of things to get rid of that feeling, including lots of swimming. Since Saturday, I have already swum 7 kilometers. And just when I think that I'm feeling alright, I start to feel anxious again. On Monday, I popped into school to drop off work for my IB students, and found myself anxious and nauseated. Oh dear! I do hope this passes soon!

Lost it at the photocopier

Well, my plan to make life better at work, obviously hasn't worked! Today, I lost it at the photocopier in the main staff room and began to cry inconsolably. When I look back on it, I have snap shots in my mind of a lot a very shocked people. I can laugh about it now but at the time I couldn't stop crying and I didn't care where I was. I have no idea where it all came from. Oh yes you do, I hear someone say! And you are right! But I just want it all to go away. I hate confrontation and I know that that is where this is all leading. I will have to confront my line manager, the head of school and human resources about their treatment of me and I can't face going through it all!

Yes, I did! And no, I won't!

Yes, I did swim 10 kilometers. Someone was wondering. I tried to keep it up this week but it was just too difficult to swim 80 laps in the hour I have in the mornings. I takes me about 50 to 60 minutes so I would have no chance to shower and get changed. I did however do it again this morning. And I will again tomorrow. If I could spend a bit more time at the pool each day I could do it. I may try to go to the pool from 6:30 till 7:45. I think that would be enough time. Well, I'm sure that you are all glad that I have worked that out!

Now for other matters! I have had a really hard week at work. I thought that if I had a week off school I would go back more able to cope with it all but I was wrong. I am being abused by my administrators, both my direct line manager and hers. My contract sets out my hours for supervision and teaching and I am doing 10 hours a week more than I should. Furthermore, the work that I am expect to do in that time is at least 1/3rd to 1/2 more than I am able to do. I have the classic symptoms of stress: I feel constantly on edge, I am having problems sleeping, I have started having anxiety attacks again. How stupid am I to let this continue! I won't! This has been the last week of me being nice about it all. On Monday I am going to lay out to my line manager exactly what I will and will not do from now on.

Stay tuned!

10 kilometers!

If I swim 80 lengths tomorrow, I will have swum 10 kilometer during this holiday. I'm rather proud of that!

Holidays!

In England there are holidays about every 6 weeks during the school year. Right now we are on the half term holiday, almost 6 weeks from the Christmas and 6 weeks or so before Easter. I can't imagine going back to the North American way of having so few breaks during the school year. I know that we only have a short summer holiday but I would rather it this way.

I am enjoying my break even though I haven't done much of what I intended to. I have been swimming, I have read, and am painting my dining room. However, I haven't been to London yet and I don't think that Cliff and I will make it down to see our daughter, her husband and our grand-son in Swansea. Cliff is still having breathing difficulties and suffering from some side effects of his medication!

I have managed to redesign my library wiki and complete my library newsletter on the databases subscribed to by the school and websites of interest to teachers. It wasn't something that I set out to do but I found myself pottering with them both and finished today. I'm hoping to blow my line manager away with the wonderful things I do and persuade her that I should go to the ALA convention in Washington this summer!

Tomorrow I am going to try and finish the work I have started in the dining room. I'm hoping to completely finish the room before I go back to school on Monday. On Saturday, I would like to go to Kew Gardens or up to London. Here's hoping!