My last visit of the year to Wisley

It wasn't a beautiful day when I got up. Nor was it the best of days for a walk but at least it wasn't raining. Wisley came to mind. It's the Royal Horticultural Society garden just 12 miles from us. I became hooked on the gardens earlier this year when my mother and I were passing them each day to go to and from the radiotherapy treatments in Guildford. At first we stopped off there to have a coffee or tea on the way home most days. Then we started to visit on the weekends. I would go there every Saturday if I could. Today we walked down to the Glass House, wandered around there, had lunch in the conservatory restaurant and then came home. Not a very exciting time but good for the soul.

The last day of classes! It's the holidays!

I hope that my title gives you the impression that I am excited that today is the last day of school. In fact I am writing this at home at 8:45 in the evening and the last day of school is over. We have had our dreadful 'We mustn't mention Christmas' assembly. To be fair, parts of it were quite entertaining. There was a great instrumental piece by the Jazz Messengers, a student-teacher-parent ensemble. There was a tragi-comic moment when a grade 1 student forgot his part and was fine about it until the head of school tried to console him. Suddenly, he seemed to realize that he had made a mistake and burst in to tears. She's obviously better at balancing books than dealing with children.

The rest of the day was taken up with eating (in the staff room, in the classroom, in the library), watching French videos and listening to Christmas music. I can't believe how tiring that can be!

Christmas Tree finally up!

Last year we didn't have a Christmas tree. I was just too sick to put it up. This year we have bought a new tree. It is smaller and thinner and fits nicely on our dining room table.

Are you planning your pilgramage to Lourdes yet?

This year, or is it next, you can get time off from purgatory if you make a pilgrimage to Lourdes during its anniversary year. I don't know if there is anything else to say about that!

Christmas is coming...and there's a shortage of goose fat!

One of the celebrity chefs (Nigella, I think) talked on their cooking show about goose fat and how it makes the best roast potatoes in the world! Now, there's a shortage in the supermarkets. Alas! I suppose I'll have to use duck fat instead or return to the olive oil of my past. Do you have a favorite method for making roast potatoes or any other part of the Christmas feast?

We're spending Christmas in Swansea with Naomi, James and Emma. We've decided that all presents will be kept to a £20-30 maximum and they must be bought on sale, at a charity shop or be made by the giver. It is less of a challenge than I thought and, with the exception of Cliff I seems to have finished.

Today, I sent off some presents to my sister's children in Cyprus and bought stamps for some of my cards. This is the area I want to work on nest year. I don't send many cards, and only to people I don't see often. However, there seem to be a lot nonetheless. I was wondering if it might be better to make contact with people throughout the year instead of only at Christmas. Would this be better? Would we develop a better relationship? Then again, there is the question as to whether or not people I don't see all that often care to keep in touch with me.

I have friends from my past who I try to keep in touch with. I write, I phone on occasion and they always seem happy to hear from me but never make contact themselves. What does this tell me? They're lazy? They don't really care? Keeping in contact is not such a big deal for them.

John Stuart Mills

I was listening to a radio programme this afternoon about John Stuart Mills. I have heard of him but knew little about his life and work. Very interesting. At the end of the programme they quoted something he said: "Ask yourself if you are happy and you cease to be so." Interesting and I wonder how true it is. I suppose that if you start questioning your happiness, then you must have done so because you doubted it in the first place. Does this actually matter? I'm not sure. Mills statement might lead us to Socrates and 'The unexamined life if not worth living".

As I said in a previous blog, I am starting to put this blog together in chronological order. This has also led me to start re-reading it. It has been interesting reading and I have discovered some things I want to revisit. It has been rather like discovering your list of New Year's resolutions 8 months after you wrote them. I have discovered things that I have forgotten and realized that I don't want that to have happened. So, after all, I am not going to stop blogging, even if I'm the only one who reads the blog.

More Musings

I've just reread my last posting and I realize that though I said that I don't feel lonely, I do have the need to feel part of a community. Writing the blog gives me a sense of being part of an on-line community. I'm never really sure if any one is reading this other than those I have already mentioned but I have a sense that their is some sort of an audience and that together we are community.

I became aware of this need for community when I went to Othona for my retreat. Perhaps, I wouldn't want the intensity of that kind of community for a prolonged period of time, but I will revisit from time to time through the coming year. The blog forms another part of the jig-saw of community.

In the suburbs of the south of England, community is hard to find. You must reach out for it and even create it for yourself. I tried in the year before my cancer was diagnosed to become part of a group, which was the Runnymede Town Twinning Association. That didn't work. The people were...not inclusive. I was there to act as their secretary for a town twinning trip to somewhere in Virginia. Ah well, I'll have to try again.

Yesterday, I decided that I wanted to have a copy of this blog. It seems to be much more vulnerable than paper and I don't want to loose it. I would also like to reread it in chronological order which is more difficult on-line. There is no easy way to do this so I've had to cut and paste it from the blog, starting last November. Once I have finished, I'll print off a few copies.

It's Saturday, our house is looking wonderful after its paint job and I am going to spend the weekend sorting it out, including taking lots to the Oxfam charity shop. Emma leaves for New York for a week's holiday on Monday and I have to do some sewing for her. Sewing is obviously an area of her education that I forgot. (I don't mind though Emma, if you are reading this!) I also have quite a bit of school work to do. I have been so tired of late that I have let a lot slide. I don't feel unwell but I do feel so very tired at times.

A good weekend to all!